Now, I don't want to sound like a politician ...

Now, I don't want to sound like a politician, but it is true. America is special. What leads me to say this? Well, a friend sent me a video of an alien's handiwork caught on tape. No, wait. You've got to hear me out. In fact, I too was initially dismissive. E.T.? In America? No way! But as a good social scientist, I went back to check her claims against data. For the record, it was she who thought it was not a ghost as claimed in the video but an alien. And her claim pans out. It is true. I am sorry, folks. There are extraterrestrial aliens in America.

"How did you validate this?", you ask. Very simply - by viewing the video she sent me. She thought it might be a ghost. I think it is almost certainly an alien. Because that is my gut feeling. It comes straight from my gut. And furthermore, by compiling statistics based on documentaries that have been made on the topics of aliens over the past 60 years, I have arrived at a facts-based political solution to the problem of aliens. It may be noted that a significant fraction of documentaries made about aliens over the past 60 years have been about aliens in the Western Hemisphere. The most popular movies about aliens are about aliens in the United States. Aliens tend to visit major metro centers in America typically. That is what the statistics tell us. Now that we have these facts before us, it goes without saying that these facts are the only facts worth considering. People who deny this only do it because they hate America.